The harsh reality!

Recently, I have been evaluating relationships, those in my life, and my contributions to humanity. I have begun by asking... do I deserve those who love me?  What have I done to earn their love or friendship?  Sadly, I have come to realize I am not a very good friend or confidant; I am to chicken $h!t to tell people what I think.  I have talked badly about people I should love and embrace, and the worse part of it is it's usually behind their back. I royally suck sometimes! It is shameful, but it's the truth.  After evaluating myself the question then turned into... what have those I have let in to my life done to earn my love and trust?  The truth?!?... Not much, because I trust and love blindly.  In fact, I am drawn to people that are broken.  Not that everyone in my life is broken, but those that I choose to give myself to the most are. It's confusing, but all I can do is work on myself and pray that everything else falls into place.  Then, I began thinking about why as a culture we sit and complain about our lives but never take action.  Should we blame ourselves? Our parents? Our teachers?  The answer is unclear!  All I know is we as a society embrace and in fact encourage mediocrity.  We are told from day one that we are "perfect", every kid gets a trophy! Therefore we accept our faults and just consider them as part of who we are, yet we have the power to change and shape ourselves. I heard the mother of all things recently; don't let your child open their presents during their birthday party, because it will make the other kids feel bad that they didn't get anything... SERIOUSLY!?! I don't give a flying monkey if your kid thinks they deserve a present on my child's birthday!  Disappointment is a part of life and is actually quite healthy!  The "everyone wins" mentality is filling our society with mediocre losers! Like not making the team... well damn it if it means that much to them they better try harder next year! If they truly want something they should have to work their @$$ off to get it; not just have it handed to them.  I apologize if this offends anyone, because that is truly not my intention... I am just very tired of people settling for less when they can be so much more!  This last statement includes myself... I live, love, and work half heartily and I pray it's something I can change.  At this point I want to say sorry to anyone I have hurt; there is no excuse for it.  I am very sorry and plan to work my hardest to earn not only your love but also your trust.  Thanks for taking the time to read this crazy rant :)

Accusations... jealousy... really?!?

Well to start off this post I owe you a weigh in.  Today I weighed in at 149lbs, so I lost weight! Success!  Although it is a great feeling, I did cheat a little.  Friday night I had chicken and waffles and it was DELICIOUS! Anyways, I am getting off topic.  I have decided I will not post pictures until the end of C25K, because I want to focus more of the health of my lifestyle than physical looks. 

Now to get to the title of this entry "Accusations... jealousy... really?!?".  To put it lightly people suck!  Why is it that when someone loses weight people automatically throw out, "Oh she must be sick" or "Oh she must have an eating disorder".  Seriously?!?!  For everyone that has made those accusations please know I am not sick and I DO NOT have an eating disorder!  I do realize many of these people are "concerned", but these issues are silly.  The reason I started this new lifestyle is to be healthy for my kids.  If I were throwing up or not eating it would be trading obesity for something just as bad, and I am not interested!  Remember every person is different and I have a rare form of self control.  I have found it is easier to change the things I don't like than to continue doing them.  Many people say it is because others are jealous, but I want all of my readers to know that it is not my goal to make others jealous.  I strive to set good examples and be someone people can look up to.  I want to motivate others to be the best person they can be.  Live a life worth living and take hold of what is yours!  Thank you to all my supporters.  You guys are amazing and make every post worth it. 

Middle of week TWO C25K!!

This week has been in many ways wonderful, and keeps getting better!  I made it past day 3 on the new Weight Watchers PointPlus program... this is a big deal.  For those of you who diet and have dieted ever notice how on day one you're ok, but crave naughty foods?  Day two you're a little moody but eager to push onto day three, and then day 3 comes along... Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnn (or however that dooming sound effect is written).  Day 3 is the HARDEST; you want to eat everything in sight, you get mad at people eating the foods you want, and eating wrong seems so delightful.  If you make the right choices and follow through when you wake up on day 4 it's like a weight has lifted off of your shoulders!  You did it you made it through one of the toughest cravings you will have on your weight loss journey!  It also gives you an extra boost of confidence knowing that you kicked some food craving @$$!!!  Don't get me wrong cravings will return, but now you know you can say no and mean it! I want to challenge my readers to give themselves three days.  If you wake up on day 4 and still want to kill someone than I give you permission to kick my butt.  Gently though, I still want to be pretty!  Be kind to yourself and know you are human.  I am posting a picture of myself when the weight was still on... I am not proud of it.  However, I am proud of the mother, wife, and person I was and am now.  The photo just reminds me that I deserve happiness and health!

Happy New Year!!! Welcome 2011!

Today is the day you have all been waiting for, and the day I have been nervous about!  Weigh in number one and pictures.  After the holidays I have officially weighed in at 151.4lbs.  While this isn't bad and well within the "healthy" weight range for my height it's not my goal weight.  My goal weight is 140 and I will keep posting weigh ins and pictures throughout my C25K journey in hopes that running and healthy eating will take me back down.  It has been a GREAT week so far!  The workouts are easy, but I was a runner before this... so I anticipate they will get harder.  Cross-training has been fun since it has been all "mommy and me" work outs.  The kids really enjoy being involved, and poor Ben gets so excited he has ran into the dumbbells more than once.  The best thing ever is coming up from a sit up and getting a big wet kiss!  Nothing like little kid slobber to make your work out awesome!  I have been thinking about getting him his own little weights as he always tries to steal mine. Also, my husband has been torturing me (I am a willing participant) with leg lifts; in an attempt to strengthen my tummy muscles and minimize my "pooch".  I hope everyone is having a FANTASTIC New Year!  Welcome 2011!  Let's take this year as our own and show anyone that has ever doubted us that we are capable of doing anything we set our minds to!

Holidays!

Lately I have ignored you and I am sorry.  Between the holidays and being overly dramatic about not having family around not much has motivated me.  Although, today is a new day and  I started C25K and so far LOVE it! Well I actually started it yesterday, but did cross training today!  Whoop Whoop!  The goal is to set an example for our little Angels.  Am I kidding myself to think that if they watch mommy workout daily they will follow?  Who knows... we can read articles and parenting books, but in the end all we can do is our "best".  I put quotations around the word "best", because we ALL screw up.  Yet no matter how many times we screw up they always love us!  Anyway, I am veering off topic... C25K!!!  Goal number two is to get in shape and stay there!! Goal number three is to run the Susan G Komen 5k, and not just participate... actually RUN it!   The workouts are not hard so far and it will be fun to feel and see progress.  I am actually thinking about taking photographs to see if the progress is visually noticeable.  Any thoughts on that?  Maybe seeing the progress will be motivating?!?  It wouldn't hurt, so sure I'll give it a try.  Some of my cross training will include "mommy and me" work outs and soon Pole exercising... that's right STRIPPING!  Lol!  There is a place here in Tucson that does pole workouts.  Get fit and bring a little sexy back in the progress; my husband won't complain I can tell you that for sure!   Here is the work out schedule for C25K and the link to the pole workout place if anyone is interested....

C25K

Pole Fitness

EPIC FAIL!

Sorry it has been a while since I posted... life has been crazy.  With that you are probably wondering how throwing out excuses went, and if you really want to know it was an epic fail!!  There is no one to blame except myself.  In fact, I went on three dates with my secret lover this weekend; Chinese, Mexican, and Italian.  I can say from experience that despite common stereotypes the Chinese did NOT have a small egg roll... it was actually quite large and satisfying.  The Mexican on the other hand was greasy, and the Italian didn't even hang out after to cuddle. No matter the excuse I still cheated and sit here today facing the repercussions; I've gained weight.  It is a vicious cycle that must be broken, because all it does is make me depressed.  Yesterday on the other hand was good, and weight watchers points were counted! Yay!  There still is hope! 

One of the goals our little family has set is changing how we associate food with other things in our life.  Like when I think Christmas stocking I think CHOCOLATE!  Or when we think of a party we think BBQ... who does that?!?!  I literally associate food with everything!!  Is it just us??  Do they have an OEA (Obsessive Eaters Anonymous)?   Maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea... 

Me- Hi, my name is Alura and I an obsessive eater.

Group- Hi, Alura!

Group Leader- Tell us about yourself.

Me- Well I am a wife and mother of two and I like food.

Group Leader- You like food?  What does that look like?

Me- Wait what were we just talking about?  Sorry all I can pay attention to is the AA group across the hall having pizza.  It is seriously making me want to take up drinking! Mmmmm... pizza... Damn it NO.....

Ok... ok... maybe that was an exaggeration. Maybe going to weight watchers meeting would help; being with people who fight this same fight everyday!  My mind sees it as a hopeless case, but my heart knows I am worth so much more.  Strength is something God instilled, so it's time to use it!  I will walk away victorious!  It is time to stop questioning myself and just do it! Positive self talk starts now! YOU WILL AND CAN DO IT!

Excuses!

Hmmmm... let's see what excuse I can think of today.   Well my baby woke up once last night, so I have no energy... OH and I had to walk all the way to the laundry room to get a bra!  Can you believe that?!?  The main problem with excuses is that if we are desperate enough we can come up with anything. Yesterday, while talking to my mom I realized the "Holidays" have recently been my excuse of choice.  It's Christmas, so I HAVE to eat the pie... it wouldn't be Christmas without it right?!?  When in actuality the days pass and Christmas continues to grow closer whether I eat the pie or not.  In fact, I could come up with an excuse every month not just in November and December.  Let's run through my upcoming year and review all of my possible excuses: January we have a birthday party to go to... that includes cake right?  Then, February hits and BAM another birthday party, my birthday, Valentine's day, and then my daughter's birthday... goodness those are some AMAZING excuses!  March will start off right with my anniversary followed by a visit home, which is bound to include going out to eat. April's lovely chocolate filled holidays is next; EASTER!  I won't continue, because I am sure you get the point!  It is so easy to push our goals and dreams of better health to the side and think, "Tomorrow".  As Thomas Jefferson would say, "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today".  My goal for the next few weeks is to throw my "It's the Holidays" excuse out the window and prove that no matter what time of year it is I can stay on track!